


When I Am Silent

by alwayslimerent



Category: Fiction - Fandom, Romance - Fandom, When I Am Silent - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fiction, Romance, When I Am Silent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 07:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 12,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9874034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwayslimerent/pseuds/alwayslimerent
Summary: Alice, a shy and independent misfit, just moved to the East coast. She has trouble finding her place, when suddenly on her first day at school, 10:43 a.m. was the minute where it all started to make sense.





	1. Prologue

Prologue

         ~Dedicated to the people who sing not with their voices, but with their hearts.~    

                       *        *       *

"Let's move", they said. "It'll be fun," they said. Who are these morons that forced me to move all the way to the east coast, you ask? My parents. Although I loved where I was, the midwest, the cornfields and people from previous generations with horrendous grammar, they thought I needed a new enviornment all together.

I know from what I'm saying, I sound just like another one of those whiny, pathetic teenage girls, who complain about their parents and go and get knocked up by boys who can't afford reduced lunch because they light joints in the parking lot instead of just going to seventh period to get the day overwith.

But don't let my first impressions let you get back to your daily stereotyping. I moved here because I always locked myself up in my room with all of the lights out, watching documentaries about the Hampton Court, eating nutella and drinking lemon tea, or listening to vinyls and reading a good book on a rainy day. I only have one friend and I think my brain stopped processing my age at ten years old. If that's what teenagers do, than I guess I'm normal. I see girls at my school throwing their lives away by getting high and possibly pregnant, so I think I turned out pretty good for a teenager.

We moved because my parents thought that I wasn't getting anywhere with my behavior, and not making friends and/or being "dismissive", as they say. I just think it's very idiotic that somehow just changing the state you live in is going to change the way I act. Or maybe, it's the people, that they were talking about. I doubt that New Jersey is going to change anything, though.

My parents of course had decided to live in a forest, because I was afraid of water. I was dissappointed though, because I couldn't sail myself to Europe while my parents were asleep. They had already enrolled me in a school, (what else is new) and we were heading there right now for a tour of the school. (of course we had to move in August so I wouldn't miss anything.)

I really didn't see the point in this drastic change for reasons that weren't drastic. Parents really do confuse me. They expect us teenagers to act like adults, yet they treat us like children.

                                           *                                  *                                        *

We were in the Godforsaken school, and I had just went to three of my classes for the orientation. English, Biology, and Algebra Enrichment. (I'm starting to get actually good at math so I have no clue why I'm in that class) I looked down at my schedule to see what class I had next: Choir, Room 805. I asked what seemed to be a very thin, sort-of perfect senior girl where the room was, and she led me there, which seemed like eternity, but it was really only about five minutes.

"So how do you like the school? Are you nervous?" She turned around and asked me. Her hair was so freaking long it almost whipped me in the face. She was too perfect it almost annoyed me because she made me feel like I needed a paper bag over my head.

"I'm dreading it." I said in a monotone. People would expect a sophmore to be nervous still about high school, or excited to be back for the sequel, but me? No. I wanted my childhood back.

Once we finally got in the room, I noticed that the choir room was huge. There was a mirror that alligned the entire back wall, but was draped over by royal blue curtains. There were chairs to the left and risers to the right, a desk, and two dry erase boards on each side of the room.

I guess I was one of those choir girls now.

                             *                                        *                                     *

I was on the phone with my best friend, Anabelle, who was still in Chicago, where I had no problems, but apparently my parents thought my life was a soap opera. Specifically, a horribly directed and edited soap opera.

"So did you see any girls with ninety-nine cent lipstick? Big hair with too much hairspray? Snooki? People that talk like Danny DeVito?" Anabelle asked, showing her entusiasim about the overdramatic stereotypes of New Jersey.

"No, I have not." I laughed, while unpacking a blanket and draping it on my bed. Although I hated being away from home, the view from my bedroom was a damn good picture to wake up to every morning. I could see the moon, the stars, the water, the forests, everything.

"Any...cute guys?" I could tell she was smiling.

"Ana...you know it's impossible for me to date. I just moved for God's sake, I'm unpacking as we speak!" I yelled over the phone while she laughed.

"Just joking. We all know that there's no one like that lifesize poster of Louis Tomlinson in your bedroom. Bring a guy home to that, and you'll be cuddling with cats and hugging pillows for the rest of your life." Anabelle said.

"There's no point in saying that, I already know it'll happen regardless. I can't wait." I set the phone down while I changed in sweatpants and took off my makeup with a makeup remover wipe. (she was on speakerphone)

"I'll call you every night and I'll visit you in Fall Break. It's only about ten weeks. That isn't so bad is it?" Anabelle asked.

"No, if we just talk on the phone every night and text while we don't talk on the phone then I'll be alright." I laughed. We were clingy to each other, but we didn't mind. We were our only friends. We were all we had.

After we hung up, I laid down on my bed and looked out the window. I looked at the moon, the stars, and the damn good view of the city that I was dragged into against my will.

"Fuck." I cursed as I pulled the covers over my arms and went to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Daydreaming was all I was doing in Algebra Enrichment, the class before Choir. I wasn't daydreaming on purpose, but thoughts kept sneaking in, and dancing in my head. I tried to get them out, when I was walking in the door, and a huge dark figure from the corner of my eye blocked me. I wasn't looking, nor thinking straight, when I realized it was Mr. Hayler, and our elbows bumped into each other.

"Oops, sorry." He said with his what seemed like professional sounding voice, while I looked up and realized his eyes were staring right down at me. I quickly walked in the room and grabbed my folder, (assigned number 63) while I sat down and tried to brush off what just happened. It was so awkward, and I wanted to rewind time like a tape cassette and do it all over again. I wanted to stare him right in the eyes and say "It's totally fine." and walk off, smiling. But, no, I had to be awkward because I was afraid of interacting with Mr. Hayler, or even looking at him, or just being about a few feet away from him, for that matter.

Once we were doing voice placements, I realized that there were two soundproof rooms that the class was lined up to--there was one line, which meant that only the odds would determine the soundproof room that I was going into. One had our real Choir teacher, the other had Mr. Hayler.

Apparently, I walked into the room that had Mr. Hayler. The room was so quiet, and the only things I could hear in the room were Mr. Hayler and I. The sounds all packed in this soundproof room actually deepened his voice more than when we were in the Choir room, where his voice echoed.

I sang the simple exercises that he told me to sing, and I tried so hard not to look at him, because from what I've learned, I really don't do well with making eye contact, let alone face contact with him. He kept looking up from the piano to watch me sing, which made my heart skip a beat. The adrenaline made my voice carry throughout the whole room, and I didn't back down.

After I was done with the exercises, he immediately stopped playing the piano, and looked aghast, looking right at me.

"Wow, Alice, you are an amazing singer! That was great! Do you know how amazing of a singer you are?" He asked, while blood flushed to my cheeks.

"Thank you." I said, my face embellishing in pink.

Once I figured out I was in the First Soprano group, I walked out, and smiled. The whole class was staring at me as I strolled past them, so I was pretty sure I was blushing my ass off.

Mr. Hayler was an interesting man. And I was afraid I started to have feelings for him.


	3. Chapter 3

The days went on so slowly. So did the hours, especially in third period. We were only ten minutes until the bell, which seemed like eternity. The adrenaline in my bloodstream had always kicked in at this time, which made me look like I was in hysterics while constantly checking the time.

But, I didn't know why I kept staring at the clock, and visiously kept checking the time on my phone to see the exact time when the teacher wasn't looking. There was just something about Choir class. It gave me this vibe that you just can't explain. A vibe that made me feel like I could be myself, and no one would judge me. Well, maybe Mr. Hayler would. I just need to loosen up my strings when I'm around him. That may take centuries though, if I keep these forbidden thoughts in my head.

Tomorrow is Back To School night, which I was fine with until the thought of Mr. Hayler and my parents meeting came in my head, which I knew was going to happen. I really needed to stop this foolishness if I didn't want the complete ineptitude of Mr. Hayler, a man that I was confused about at the moment, and my parents shaking hands and conversing right in front of me. It was an abolishment, that I was scared of it ever occuring to me.

We were learning our songs in Choir, the first one was Riversong, which was basically a personification about a river and how it makes people feel free. No matter what the music department says, no body of water will ever make me feel as free as the wonders of being able to not wear pants when you're home alone.

While we were singing, I noticed that Mr. Hayler kept looking at me, and only me. When we had to sing our parts, it was like he was just talking to me, and no one else, even though there were 30 other girls all beside me. I felt like I was the only one in the room with him. I felt like when he looked straight in my eyes, while I was looking at his, I couldn't screw up any part of any song. 

Over the days, I found out more and more about Mr. Hayler. He was a very nice man, and he was dorky, which made him more charming. He made the entire class laugh, including me. What I found peculiar was that I felt like the only one who had these feelings when I was in the same room as Mr. Hayler. Why couldn't anyone else? He was everything that was rare in the world, which made me have these feelings more, because I felt that there was no one like him.

Who am I kidding, though? Mr. Hayler had no feelings for any of us, except as his students. We were far too young for him, and he was too old for us. Why does a girl's maturity level have to be leveled up with a man in college? 

I was so confused about the things I was feeling about Mr. Hayler. He was attractive, young, smart, precise, funny, charming, and nice. I knew deep down in my heart that we could never be together, though. 

What was with all that eye language then? I was just singing my microscopic heart out, and following his instructions, and his eyes always led to mine. Why was he so fascinated with staring at me? When he took attendance every day, he saw me and just kept staring. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, and he couldn't take his eyes off of me. 

It's impossible that no one else felt this about such a charming man. That didn't mean I was ever going to speak of the impossibilities to any other being in the school.


	4. Chapter 4

Back to School Night was very intense, and the only thing keeping me from jumping out the window in Algebra Enrichment was texting Annabelle while she was eating dinner and studying.

"I'm so nervous, and my heart is pounding. I hope he's not here." I texted Annabelle.

"He probably is. He's a student teacher. If he's involved in all of the teacher meetings, events, etc. like you said he was, then he is probably going to meet your parents and it'll be very awkward." She texted back.

"Oh God. The bell just rang. I'm so scared."

"Just relax. You'll be fine."

Once we walked all the way to Choir, I tried talking to some of my friends in the class, meeting their parents, and trying to start conversation to stall my parents from meeting Mr. Hayler. The stalling didn't really work out too well, because my friends were walking with me towards Choir while we were speaking.

My heart pounded once I looked at the end of the hallway that the Choir room was at, and I saw Mr. Hayler, standing there and smiling, talking to the parents as they walked in. I saw my parents right behind me and I quickly went with my friend and her parents so I couldn't witness anything that was about to happen.

He greeted my best friend, and I just stared at him, trying not to look. Once I was about to walk in, I quickly glanced at Mr. Hayler, smiling and looking me straight in the eyes. He was smiling so wide and blushing so hard that he looked almost overly excited or embarrassed.

"Hi, Alice." He smiled at me as I walked in.

"Hi." I softly said in a quiet tone as I walked in as quick as I could before I could be with my parents while Mr. Hayler was meeting them.

Great. Another fucking awkward entry in this Godforsaken Choir room, with this damn student teacher that I just couldn't act normal around. Who am I kidding, I can never act normal around anyone. Especially, Mr. Hayler.

When Mr. Hayler was intorducing himself to the class and their parents and siblings, He was staring right at me, like he was just talking to me. Hey, at least I was right. He was from New Jersey.

My parents did not say one word about Mr. Hayler as we continued on with three of our other classes (Geography, P.E., and Algebra), which I found a bit strange. It was like people who knew a secret, and they just knew. They knew what they were thinking, but they didn't talk about it.

But, my parents are none of my concerns anymore. All I'm concerned about is why the hell does Mr. Hayler seem so fascinated with me?


	5. Chapter 5

The bell had just rang to go to Lunch. I was walking around the chairs to put my Choir folder up, when I grabbed my bookbag and walked out the door. I was right about to be the last one to leave, when I heard Mr. Hayler's voice calling my name from behind me. Am I going crazy now?

"Alice, I need to talk to you!" I turned around and all I saw was Mr. Hayler, the only person in the Choir room besides me, standing there staring into my eyes.

I asked Mr. Hayler about one of the songs, and the notes that our group sings during class, so I was assumming he was going to emphasize on his answer.

"I wanted to tell you more about the note at measure 63." He smiled and grabbed the sheet music off of his black podium that he always put his music on while talking to us, while we were on the risers, ready to sing.

"Sure, what about it?" I asked him.

"For the last note, you really have to carry out the note, like a big crescendo. Do you want me to demonstrate?" He started to walk really close towards me which started to make me nervous. "

"Sure.." I said, walking closer towards him as he sat on the piano bench, sitting straight up and ready to play the piano.

Mr. Hayler turned around and saw me standing awkwardly behind him. "You can sit beside me right here, if you want. You're a First Soprano and your notes are really high, so my fingers are going to be to the right a lot." He laughed and smiled at me as he motioned me to sit next to him on the piano bench.

I sat next to him, which made me nervous because the bench was made for only one person, but right now it was for two. His left arm and leg were touching mine, which made me even more flustered because I could smell the minty and cool scent of his cologne that he had hid underneath his tie, or maybe underneath the collar of his dark green plaid shirt.

He was explaining the notes on the piano, and how to try to get the high note that our group is suppossed to sing in the bridge.

He played the bridge so beautifully, which really proved me wrong on my observations because i thought he just knew the keys of the piano, but really he could play like a professional. Young men like him that could play an instrument, almost specifically the piano, always captured my interest like a dreamcatcher would catch a bastion of a nightmare.

Then, he sang. 

"Even in the darkness, even in the night ; lead me through the shadows, to the morning light..." He sang the last high note so beautifully from his lungs that it vibrated in my eardrums, because he was right beside me. His singing was very low and deep, and not what you would expect from his talking voice, but it was very handsome. Oh God, I really need to stop this nonsense about a student teacher.

He stopped playing and turned his head to look at me, which I could see his face from the corner of my eye ; I was staring at the piano keys, contemplating what had just happened, and how I witnessed this, all alone, just him and I. 

"Just like that." He ended his explanation of how to get a good high note while saying those words right in my ear, which honestly gave me chills. I slowly looked up and finally faced my huge unknown fear of looking into his eyes. They were a gray-ish blue, and they gave his face a soft feature, since practically everything else was so defined.

We just stared at each other for a long time, and I admired every feature I saw in his face, and I have no clue what he was thinking while looking at mine.

His face got closer, which made me start to panic.

"I-I'm going to be late. I have three minutes until lunch."

He softly touched my wrist to stop me from leaving so quickly once I got up from the bench. I turned around and saw him standing up, holding the sheet music in his other hand, and staring at me.

"Don't worry. I'll give you a pass."


	6. Chapter 6

Yesterday was unfathomable. I could not understand why I had to be held after class to talk about a measure after five minutes, when he could've just answered my inquiries today, like he did with the other students. What makes me so damn special? It's me, so that boosts up the question.

Once the bell rang again, I hurried to put in my folder, as I planned. Right when I was about to walk out when I knew he wasn't looking, I heard Mr. Hayler calling my name again.

I had a sly but bleak facial expression on my face, which he noticed.

"What's wrong, Alice? You seem...off."

"How do you know if I'm on my 'on' switch?" I asked Mr. Hayler.

"Because I know you. You're actually very outgoing, funny, and kind." He smiled while he was getting his sheet music ready, for what I was assuming was the next class.

"Thank you." I looked down at my sandals  and looked around the room, admiring the emptiness. "So, I've been working on measure 63, and I think I may have one of the highest belts from the high note, and I know people recognize my voice. I know I shouldn't care, but I don't want it to stand out too much---"

"You're pretty." I heard Mr. Hayler blurt out while I was in the middle of speaking about my difficulties from the song.

I immediately stopped talking and looked at him, almost dropping my bookbag, eyes going wide at what I think he just said.

"W-What?" I asked, blood rushing to my cheeks and my knees getting weak.

"What?" He asked again, trying to mask what he said, like duct tape was around his mouth.

"I-I thought you said---" He interupped me by going out the door. I saw him look around the hallways as I was wondering what the hell was going on. He walked back inside and closed the door, which the slamming sound of the door was so intense it scared me.

Mr. Hayler walked closer towards me than ever, we were so close I could touch his arms just by raising my hands, as close as people are when they slow dance.

"I said you were pretty." He softly said while touching the dark brown hair that framed my face. I just looked up into his gray-ish blue eyes and almost smiled, while he kept staring at me. "Really...pretty." he emphasized so it was almost like a whisper.

"Lunch." I said while looking over at the clock on the wall that was above the dry erase board by the desk.

"Lunch? OH! Right! You need food! Hold on, let me get you a pass." He went over to the desk, and got two green slips of paper, and scribbled on both of them. He gave both of them to me.

"What's the second one for?" I asked, referring to the other pass he gave me.

Mr. Hayler looked out the window that was on the door of the Choir room. He pulled me close towards him, looking like he was about to say a secret. He leaned in so his face was so close to mine, we could kiss with any sudden movements. (What am I saying?)

"For tomorrow," he said softly. "You can come early."


	7. Chapter 7

"Great, you're here." Mr. Hayler smiled as I walked into the Choir room. Apparently, he gave the time I should come in during passing period on the pass, and it was a time where he didn't have a class, which was third period, apparently, right before my Choir class.

"I just gave the teacher a pass." I told him as I went to set my bookbag on my chair and started walking towards the folder cubby to get my folder.

"Ba-Alice," He emphasized. "I wouldn't put down my bag and ger my folder, that would look suspicious." Mr. Hayler said, and stopped me with the word I thought he was going to say.

"What were you going to say?" I turned around, apprehensively.

"...Nothing." He rolled his eyes and sluggishly turned to the piano, to get his sheet music.

"No...What were you going to say?" I was interested now. I tried to let loose and smile, but I still just felt awkward around Mr. Hayler.

"Ok...Sit down and let me teach you something about singing,...baby."  He smirked and sat closer to the right so I could sit beside him.

After he taught me about how to sing better, and how to be heard in the audience, He looked at the clock and almost gasped. Mr. Hayler was humorously dramatic.

"Ok, so...um...Mr. Hayler," I tried to get his 'teacher name' out my mouth without feeling wrong.

"Yes?" He asked, standing up and looking down at me. I stood up just to be stable enough to look at his gentle face.

"What is this? Like, the before and after class passes, the staring, the compliments,...what all does this mean?" I looked at him straight in the eye and smiled. This was actually getting easier day by day. With an awkward person like me, I feel great frustration towards myself in situations like this.

"Look...we don't have to do this if you don't want to--" He looked down, almost looking dissappointed.

"No. I want to. I know I may not be showing it, but I do." That was true. I did have feelings for Mr. Hayler, and I wasn't going to lie or doubt it anymore. I believed he felt these feelings too, otherwise I wouldn't be standing in this room so early right now.

"Ok, great. We have to keep this a secret if you like me as much as I like you." He smiled and got closer to me, while my heart started fluttering and my knees almost got weak.

"My lips are sealed, Mr. Hayler." I smiled.

He leaned in even closer to me, so his face was right in front of mine.

"When we're alone, you can call me William." He smiled as he leaned in closer. I honestly believe he was about to kiss me, when the bell rang and we heard students outside in the hallways.

William. His name was William Hayler. What an extravagent, classy, perfect name for him. I liked 'William' much better than 'Mr. Hayler'.

Once a student walked in, Mr. Hayler immediately rushed to the desk smoothly and handed me a pass for after class. What a sly man he was, because I noticed that the pass was pre-written.

I walked over towards the folder cubby, where girls were practically on top of each other to get their folders, but that was when I looked down and noticed that William's phone number was on the back of the pass, and in parentheses, it said "ERASE THIS WHEN YOU CALL ME, I WANT TO KEEP MY JOB". I laughed at his humor that was so similar to mine, when I turned around to see him smiling at me. I quickly folded the pass and put it in my pocket.

So, I guess William was my boyfriend. I think that was what he meant by 'keep this a secret if you like me as much as I like you'. I didn't mind, though, which was rare for me.

While we were finally singing, I gave all that I had in the end of the song, just like I was throughout the whole piece. William just stared right at me, and both of us were making eye contact. He smiled and his face got red.

"Great crescendo." He said, smiling.


	8. Chapter 8

So here's what's been going on for a few weeks. William would every now and then write me passes if he really wanted to talk to me, and since I had lunch after Choir, I would act like I was leaving, but come right back in and I would always bring a snack so we could eat lunch together. One day last week, he just leaned in and said "I could kiss you if you'd let me." I let him, and now we kiss after class, when we know everyone has left the room. If I ate in the cafeteria, then he would always give me notes as I was walking out, so i could have something entertaining to read as I eat, which was nice. Everyday, I would write back and give the note to him before class started. 

But, William wasn't really talking to me. All he really did was make jokes on paper to make me laugh, which I didn't have a problem with ; but I just wanted to know more about him. His first name was William, last name Hayler. His favorite ice cream flavor was mint chocolate chip, he is from New Jersey (here) and he liked movies that you can cry to. He is only six years older than me, and his favorite scary movie was 'Halloween'. 

I really loved that I knew those, but I just wanted to know more. I wanted to know what his hair looked like when it was in his face, or if he had other piercings beside a carltrige piercing. I wanted to know what hobbies he did when he got back to wherever he was living, or what music did he listen to, to make him happy.

I quickly turned to the back of the little piece of paper he wrote on, (saying 'What a great day it is to sing. I just have another reason now.') He make a wink face at the end of the note. I grabbed a pencil from my bookbag and started to write.

"What does your hair look like when you wake up? What do you do when no one else is looking? Do you just sit there silent like me, or do you blast music and dance like no one is watching? What do you do to pass your spare time ; do you read a book off of your wall, or do you watch movies with tea and all of the lights out, like I do? William, what do you do when you're not teaching us to sing?" I folded up the piece of paper and put it in my pocket, while I got up to go to Geography.

                                           *                        *                    *

It was the next day, and I quickly gave it to him, as he smiled and I walked to get my folder.

As soon as I saw him put away the note, he silenced the class and smiled right at me, while I smiled back at him. I think he gave me this feeling, this vibe that just made me happy. I smiled and laughed when I was around him. I was elated.

"Alright, class." He said loudly and clearly. "Let's start."


	9. Chapter 9

"Stay after class. I need to talk to you." William had texted me as I was walking over to Choir. I had passed various posters of horrendous artwork, for the Homecoming Dance, parade, and float as I was walking, along with shouting freshmen and teachers.

I had wondered what William would respond with, so I could take a greater insight with his hobbies, how he sees the world, and just a look inside of his brain, to see how it works. Did he stay at home all day like I did in Chicago, and watch movies and drink tea all day, or did he get that feeling of wanderlust, the feeling that I got back in Chicago, where you just wanted to drive until you couldn't recognize where you were at anymore? It was ironic, because those two qualities of my brain, two complete opposites, led me to here.

I finally walked in the Choir room, as he led me to the dressing room, which was right next to the Choir room, and the window on the door was taped up so no one could see us.

"What is it?" I asked, which I assumed was pretty loud, because he quickly silenced me.

"Don't talk so loud." He said still talking, but it was almost a whisper. It was like that voice that people use, where you still hear the vibrations of their voice, but you can't understand what they're saying when you're far away from them.

"What? The bell is about to ring!" I said in a hushed tone as he finally looked at me.

"That's not an excuse. I told you to come with me because I need to talk to you, therefore you will not be late." He smirked whilst correcting me.

"Just tell me,..." I was still timid to say his name. First and last.

"No one's here, you can call me William." He smiled as he put his hands in the pockets of his black pants.

"...William." I said hesitantly.

"Um...I know I don't go to this school, and I'm not a student, but I think we can make it work."

"Make what work?" I asked, my face getting red.

"Trying to hide my identity when we go to the Homecoming Dance, if you ever so will go with me." He smiled as I smiled back and hugged him.

"Is that a yes?" He asked before he opened the door.

"Yes." I smiled.

"Great. Can't wait." He laughed as he opened the door, and we walked back inside. The official Choir teacher gave us both weird looks of suspicion, while I looked at William in fear. His eyes widened as he said "Dress issue. From the fittings. Her dress kind of was raised a little and I tried to give advice on how to fix it." He looked at the class while he nervously bit his lip. The class seemed to believe him, while I was just sitting there with my black leather folder in my lap, amazed at what a wonderful liar this man was.

I didn't exactly know how I was going to work out being at the dance with William, but I was looking foreward to it. Maybe he could pretend it was a masquerade and wear a mask to hide his face, or show up with a hood and sunglasses over his tuxedo. Who knows? With William, (Or, according to the rest of the class, "Mr. Hayler",) anything is possible.

                                              *                               *                       *

Once the bell had finally rang in seventh period, our last class, I looked at my text history, and finally pressed the button that said his number.

The phone rang three times, and he finally picked up as I was passing the gymnasium.

"Hello?" He asked. The phone made his voice sound deeper. Another thing I wanted to know about him that I figured out: how he sounded like over the phone.

"So, about the Homecoming Dance..." I began my first phone conversation with him.


	10. Chapter 10

The Homecoming Dance was stressful, because I had friends. I knew that having friends in general was stressful, but I had to spend an equal amount of time with my friends and William, so I had to keep going back and forth. William had worn a tuxedo just for me, but he stayed at the back of the building where no one could see him. I had to keep telling my friends that I was going to get punch, or I had to fix my makeup in the bathroom, or I had to take a rest because my feet hurt from my heels, just so I could go to the back and be with the person I really wanted to be with. Then, I had to keep telling William the same things, when really, I was spending about five minutes with my friends. My heels were making my feet hurt, so most of the time I was walking barefoot, holding my heels in my hand.

It was finally during a slow dance, so my friends could be occupied, while I quickly left the gymnasium to be with William. I saw him leaning against the door, looking on his phone, with a facial expression that looked irritated. I felt so bad for him that I had to keep going back and forth like this, so I immediately went outside to talk to him.

"I told my friends that I was leaving early, so we have the rest of the night together." I told him, trying to cheer him up. "Are you mad? If you are, I am so so sorry. I know it's hard going back and forth but I needed to give my friends some attention too." I really did feel bad for him, so I walked closer to him and looked at him put his phone in his pocket, letting his other hand just lay there, waiting to be held possibly by mine.

William turned around looking straight at me with a half-smile. "I'm not mad, Alice. I understand." He walked closer to me.

I started to panic because I've never really had any physical contact with a boy before, but William has kissed me, so I really didn't know what I was so afraid of.

William grabbed my hands and looked right in my eyes, while I looked up at his.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" He looked at me with such a facial expression of sympathy.

"That's none of my concern right now." I smiled, looking into his gray eyes, framed largely by his glasses.

"Alice, my darling, can I have this dance?" He said dramatically in a posh tone as he held out his arm for me to take. I looked nervous, as I hesitated to actually touch him. He leaned in close to my face. "It's only a dance, I'm not going to hurt you." I took his arm as we both smiled.

He pulled me close to him as his thin hands were on my waist and mine were on his shoulders. He looked into my eyes as I noticed the awkwardness of the situation.

"So, about those questions you asked me..." He started.

"Thank God you're good at starting conversation, this was getting too awkward for me." I said which made him laugh.

"Well, I have to be good at that. I'm a teacher." He said as he smiled and we started dancing. "My hair gets messy when I wake up. Not in my face, just messy. I do everything when no one is looking. It seems that I always do the stupidest and noticed things when everyone is looking. I do love to read and watch movies with tea. I practice piano, sing, listen to music, working, everything you do. But, what do I do when I'm not teaching you, you ask? I'm learning, myself."

He leaned in to kiss me right before I saw my mother's car pull in behind the school, where she said she was going to pick me up.

"Oh, shit." I said, as we both gasped. "Sorry for the language." I said.

"It's fine." He laughed. "I've said worse, way worse."

"My mom is here. I have to go. I guess it's 9:30." I quickly leaned up to kiss him as he smiled and pulled me in for a hug.

"Bye, Alice. I'll see you Monday." He said as I waved back at him. I saw him go to the side of the building to get in his car when I got in my car and looked to see my mother giving me a weird look.

"Who was that?" My mother asked. "I thought you just went with friends?"

"I did, Mom." I said. "That was just a friend from school."


	11. Chapter 11

The bell had just rang, and everyone in the Choir room had rushed out, like a stampede of horses being set free. William had given me a note, and kissed me on the cheek quickly once the official Choir teacher had left the room to go to his office.

Once I got in the cafeteria, I sat down and unfolded the note that just had a horribly drawn smiley face on the front.

"Last Saturday was amazing. I want to do more fun things with you. How about the carnival this weekend? - William." He ended the note with another horribly drawn smiley face my his name. I smiled immediately and couldn't stop thinking about him for the rest of the day.

I loved how William and I were a secret that absolutely no one knew about. There weren't people complaining about us being too amorous in public, and people weren't complaining about the attention either of us were giving to other people. We were always free to do whatever we wanted, because we were always alone.

The next day at in Choir, I still had the folded up note in the right pocket of my jeans, and a smile on my face. While we were doing warm-ups, William kept smiling at me, while I just nodded my head, answering his question about the carnival, making him smile wider.

Once the day was over and I had gotten in the car, I told my mother that a friend was taking me to the carnival, and she approved.

I guess I was telling my mother a half-truth. I was going with a friend to the carnival. William was my best friend. Over the weeks, I had told him so many things, and he's told me so many things. I already knew the type of person he was, and he already knew the type of person that I was. It's somewhat demented how two people can know so much about each other in a matter of a month.

I was looking foreward to going to the carnival with William this weekend, and everything and anything else I was expected to do with him in the future. We finally trusted each other, and told each other things that no one else knows about us. We had the same sense of humor, and we had the same aspect on what we were to become later on in life.

William was more than what Room 805 had made out of him. He was my conscience, my happiness, and my pulse.


	12. Chapter 12

William had picked me up at the end of the block, so my mother would not have a clue about who this "friend" is, or what car he drove, or his lisence plate number. Once I got in his car, he immediately smiled and turned down the radio.

"Welcome to Hayler Transportation. Please keep your feet and arms in the ride for safety." He said in a low voice, making me laugh.

"I'm guessing you're not that good of a driver." I told him.

"Not really, I barely passed my driver's test because I was so busy studying." He smiled.

"That's ok, I'll give you lessons once I take Driver's ED." I looked over at him, starting the car. He went through a black CD case right below the shifter between the seats. He flipped through CD's and pulled out the "Frozen" soundtrack.

"Frozen?" I asked. "Never in my lifetime have I known a senior in college who listens to Disney soundtracks in the car. Is this normal for you or are you playing this just because the rest of your music is really sappy and boring?"

"I find my music taste...interesting." He said once he put in the CD and started driving.

"If you crash, I'm blaming the writers of Frozen." I laughed, while he sort of sang along to the CD.

"The carnival is a long way away, so I would enjoy the ride and not complain about my music selection. You bought a ticket, you should love the ride." He laughed.

"Last time I checked, the best things in life are free, William." I emphasized on his name, just to show that I was not shy around him anymore.

"Great, you can finally say my name." He said sarcastically, making me laugh even louder. "It's not really a complicated name. People try to call me Bill but I don't take it."

The ride was very entertaining. I got to know more about William, and he got to know more about me. He found out about me writing, and I found out that he cries easily in sad movies. We both admired that about us, though.

Once we were at the carnival, William had bought us bracelets that gave us unlimited rides. First, we looked at the animals, while William kept making animal sounds, which made me laugh. Next, we ate some ice cream and went on "The Blizzard" which was really loud, bright, and fast.

I hadn't exactly told anyone, but I was afraid of rollercoasters. I was terrified of being off of the ground. Even the ferris wheel got to me, sometimes. It was something that I was humiliated about, and I was apprehensive about telling William.

Once William saw the rollercoaster, he couldn't take his eyes off of it, which made me perplexed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, I'm just.." I looked over at the rollercoaster to infer to him about my fear, but I don't think it worked, because he was still looking at me.

"Just what?" He asked.

"I'm scared of rollercoasters." I blurted out shamefully while I looked at him. "I'm sorry. You can go on one if you want." I tried to smile, because I couldn't stand letting him down.

"Alice, what is with you and apoligizing?" He smiled. "It's okay. We don't have to go on one if you don't want to." He leaned in and kissed me for a minute, trying to cheer me up. I don't think anyone from the Choir class, or even the school would know about this, since we were an hour away from our district. We felt free to do whatever we wanted in public, here and now.

William and I were competing in Skee Ball, and he was way better at it than I was, because of his lean and almost muscular arms. He was also really taller than me, which enhanced his luck of winning, too.

He ended up winning me a big panda bear, so I have him a piece of my heart in return.

Once we were at the top of the ferris wheel, he leaned in and kissed me. He also had his arm around my shoulders the whole time, which placated me about the heights.

"Alice," He said, while we were the only two people on the top of the ferris wheel.

"What?" I asked.

"I can't help falling in love with you." He said, quoting the audition piece for our school musical.


	13. Chapter 13

Once the bell rang, all of the students in the Choir room had ran out, like they always do, and William called me over once the official Choir teacher had left the room.

"Last weekend was so amazing." He said with passion, like how he told the Choir that our voices sounded beautiful while we were singing.

"I had fun." I smiled.

"Should we do something else next weekend? If you're not busy? I'm a really boring person, so I'm busy on most weekends." He babbled on and on.

"I would love to, William." I said, smiling.

"Okay." He exhaled, smiling.

He handed me another note and kissed my cheek before I went to walk to my locker.

Once I opened my locker, a small piece of paper came flying out onto my shoes. I assumed William had found out where my locker was, and put a note in my locker, since the paper was folded exactly like how he always folds it.

I picked up the note and unfolded it, while I was smiling and my heart was fluttering. I only expected the best from this little piece of paper.

I read the note and realized it wasn't William's handwriting.

"I know about you and Mr. Hayler. No wonder you have a perfect 100% in this class. It's not fair to the rest of us, and now that I know, you have to obey me, or I tell. I love Mr. Hayler, as well as many other students, and you just snatch him away. How cruel. I saw you kissing at the carnival and I just couldn't help but realize how disgusting you are. You two break up, or I do it for you. If I do it, it will go on both of your records. 

                                                        - Violet.

P.S. Latin is so dramatic, and makes a show better."

Violet was one of my friends in Choir, or as I assumed. Thoughts flashed through my mind because of the possibilities of William never being able to be a teacher, or me never getting a job, or being the school's slut because I dated a student teacher. The possibilites were endless of the things that could ruin both of our lives. I knew I had to end whatever I had with William, but tears formed in my eyes as I realized that I loved him. He was my conscience, my source of happiness, the reason that not just my voice, but my heart sang as well.

This was where the "dismissive" fraction of me came into place, and why my parents moved me here. I couldn't stand getting my heart broken, but William was so mature like me, and he was on my level. I had taught myself to stay away from the illusion of "love" as much as possible. I didn't want to sew my heart up again with steel bandages and pins and needles just to get it beating again, because it takes forever. I realized I was back to the beginning, and I felt my heart ripping to shreads again. I thought about tomorrow, and I fell on my knees and sobbed.

Of course, people were looking, so I had to be sent to the bathroom. Violet was blackmailing me, and I couldn't fight her, because she held my darkest yet most beautiful secret. Maybe I didn't have to obey her, and just pretend that I broke up with William and be more careful? I don't know, but that thought came into consideration.

I couldn't handle not losing William, even if it took every working fiber in my body. That would subtract my heart, in that situation, then.

                                                  *                          *                            *

The bell had rang, and I just tried shutting William out of my mental world, even though he was everywhere in my emotional world. Once I grabbed my backpack, I raced out of the room to go to lunch.

William rushed behind me, calling my name to get me to turn around. He grabbed my wrist, trying to stop me.

"Alice, come back! What's wrong?" He shouted.

"I can't anymore." I said quietly as tears spilled out my eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

William had texted me his address, so I told my mother that I was going to a friend's house. I know, another half-truth. The day was melancholy, because I knew in the back of my mind that William was not going to be in my life forever. We only have about two weeks together, until I knew that it was time for us to go our seperate ways. I just wish I knew about a plan to make it work, and still keep it a secret.

Once I knocked on William's apartment door, he opened, wearing just a dark blue T-shirt and sweatpants. He smiled and immediately let me in.

His apartment was somewhat clean. The television was off, which was not normal for a guy, and there were blankets draped over his couch. There was a cup of tea on his coffee table and piles of papers on the miniature kitchen table, along with a backpack and textbooks.

"I knew you were coming over, but I just didn't have enough time to clean up." He tried to babble on again.

"William, it's fine. I would much rather see your apartment the way it usually is than you sugar-coating it to make it clean for me. And you look much more charming in a T-shirt and sweats than in your teacher wardrobe." I said, smiling.

"Well, aren't you sweet." He smiled. "So what was going on yesterday? What happened?" He put his hand on the back of his neck.

"I-um..." I started to panic. William noticed and sat me down on the couch as he sat close to me, putting his arm around the crest of the couch, making it seem like his arm was around my shoulders.

"When we were at the carnival, someone saw us. It was one of the girls in the choir class. She sent me a blackmail note to do whatever she says, or else she'll tell, and it'll go on both of our records. She told me how disgusting I was, and--" I stopped, because I was starting to cry, thinking about saying goodbye to William, but I didn't want to. It was like learning how to swim. I wanted to keep holding on to the edge of the pool, and didn't want to let go, because if I did, I was afraid I'd drown. William was the edge of my pool.

"I guess we should have been more careful." I began again through my tears. "I don't understand how just two people that love each other can be so disgusting, to others. I think that there's nothing wrong with us. I don't know what to do." I started to cry harder when I looked at William's face, which was despairing, and heart-broken. His gray eyes looked deadly at the floor through his thick glasses, and he just sat there, silent, lifeless.

I tried as hard as I could to make him feel at least a little better, but I didn't know the right words to say.

"We can just be more careful." He finally said, startling me, but making me smile.

William gave off a small smile as he leaned in to kiss me.


	15. Chapter 15

There was tension in Room 805. Violet kept staring at me like I was a piece of meat, and the class was quiet, which was so rare. William kept staring at me while we were discussing ticket sales for the concert, and I couldn't stop myself from the feelings I was getting over him.

Once we walked to the risers, William just stood there with his hands behind his back, staring at the floor. I didn't know what was going on, but William seemed "off", as he would say. I just couldn't find his "on" switch. He finally looked up at the class, with a serious expression on his face, which was also rare. It was almost uncomfortable for everyone. Everyone probably felt like they were in trouble, like when all of a sudden teachers just stand there, staring at the class, slowly breaking down while the class just ignores what is going on. This class, I think knew, but I sure as hell knew the story behind the tension. I didn't know what to do.

"Ladies, please take out "When I Am Silent". He said in a serious tone as everyone obeyed.

Once he started playing it on the piano, and we followed him by singing, I realized why he had picked this song. I quickly looked up, as he looked at me while playing the piano. The song had so much meaning, about who will be there when we're alone. Then, I wondered; Who will be there when I am alone? The song did not reveal the answer, nor will anything. We aren't aware of who is with us when we seem lonely. But, are we alone? We don't know.

Once we were at the dramatic ending, William was silent, the class was painfully silent and emotionless, and he just looked at me straight in the eyes.

"That was beautiful. Put your folders away." He said in a monotone, as I walked to the folder cubby, when I found him staring back at me, just like the first day of Choir.

I didn't know how this was going to end. I didn't know if William was depressed about Violet knowing, or happy that we are being more careful, or just angry at Violet, like I was. There were so much emotions that we haven't discussed yet, and I was eager to know. I think William had completely shut me out, and I started to get a lonely feeling. That was the thing about being lonely. I didn't know if I was alone, or not.


	16. Chapter 16

We had practiced and practiced for two weeks straight. I had practiced hitting high notes out of school, as well as texting William to see if he was okay. In our last text conversation, I had asked him "What happens now?". He replied with "I don't know. But, I love you, Alice Carterson." I still didn't know how to respond. There was still a dismissive part of me that was trying to make me have a grip on reality. I did not want to admit my love for people, because that was like giving your all to someone, or selling your soul. After such sacrifices like that, I would only be doing my heart harm, because things like that always end up more terrible than expected.

The tension was still going on, up until performance night, which was tonight. Once we were all lined up in our chairs, wearing bright red lipstick and vibrant colored eyeshadow, with teased and curled hair, we waited for William to arrive at which he said six-fourty-five.

My friend, Monica, had just arrived with her hair in attempted curls and an inch-sized poof on her hair, indicating that she, along with the rest of us, had spent hours teasing and teasing our hair.

"Is this where we get our stereotype from?" Monica said quietly, so no one else could hear, while I laughed.

"I guess so," I stated.

William had showed up on time, and we were the first people to go up on stage. The televisions in the other choir rooms were broadcasting us, and there were about two-hundred people in the audience staring at us. We had stood up straight, while I fidgeted with the sides of my royal blue dress, like William had told the class to do if we are fidgety on stage, like him.

The audience was pitch black, so all I could see were the stage lights and the silhouette of William. Last week, he had told the class to stare at nobody in the auditorium but him, but he was staring right at me, like he was just telling me to look at him the entire time of the concert. I didn't know if that statement had a double meaning, but I was staring at him, like I always do.

Our second song was "When I Am Silent" and William kept staring right at me for the entire song, and almost wouldn't take his eyes off me, although my eyes have never left him for one second. I could feel the message of the song, through not just my vocal chords, but through my heart. It was like a choir just singing my message to William, or him sending out the signals to have us sing what he's trying to say. Or, maybe it was a message we were giving to the audience about what exactly happened these past few weeks in Room 805.

Our last song was a Latin song, called "Gloria Fanfare" which was theatrical, but mysterious. The song was about being joyful.

We were right in the middle of finishing the song, when I heard a creaking noise by the balcony. Suddenly, the room went black. The music immediately stopped and the audience was in commotion. I had no idea where William, or anyone was, so I started panicking. The official Choir teacher came in with a flashlight and I could see the outline of William's face, looking petrifyed.

"Someone had turned the power off in this room, and they went into the Choir room and ripped curtains, broke the mirrors, and just completely trashed the room." He said in an almost ironically monotone voice.

William immediately instructed us to follow him, as I looked around once we were out of the auditorium while the official Choir teacher told the audience to stay calm.

Once we got in the Choir room, it felt like we had just taken a step into hell. The curtains looked like they were purposely cut by scissors, the chairs were knocked over along with the folder cubbies, the folders were scattered all over the floor, with sheet music blanketing the tan tile floors. The mirrors were shattered, along with blood stains on the glass from their various completed attempts at breaking the mirror. The rest of the women gasped in terror as William immediately dragged me all the way to the front entrance of the school, and outside, without saying a word to me.

"Alice, we really need to talk about this." He said in a serious and firm, but scared voice.

"That's what I've been wanting to do, but I don't know how much more of a secret this can be." I said, looking up at him, feeling frustration.

William stared at the ground for a long time, while I just stared at him. After a few minutes, he looked out into the dark parking lot, and then back at me.

"Alice, what we had, what we did together, it was amazing. But, I am a teacher. Well, almost." He paused to look at the ground and almost smile. "And, you're just a sophmore. You have so much more time to grow up than I do. Me? I wish I was a sophmore, so I could have more sand in my youth hourglass. You are an amazing woman, and I do wish that once you find someone--"

"If." I corrected him by cutting him off. I hated when people would assume that me "finding someone" was correctly in my future. What if it isn't? That's what I assumed.

"...If you find someone... I hope he treats you the way I would every waking second of every day. I will miss you once I go to Austrailia next month---"

"Wait...you're going to Austrailia?!" I started to yell at him. "Next month? And you never told me?" 

"I didn't want to tell you..." He started to look around, anxiously.

"William, it's fine, you have a life to live, and me...well, I'm stuck in this hellhole for another two years. That is, if I'm here long enough." I looked back at the school and felt tears coming to my eyes, knowing exactly how this was going to end. "You see, William, I was a waste of space in Chicago. I locked myself up in my room all day. I didn't know what my purpose was. And, you know what? I hated every single waking second of moving here. But, once I had just one day in that Choir room, I knew I had a purpose. I don't know what that purpose is, I may never know. But, you made me sing not just from my lungs, or diaphram, or vocal chords...but from my heart. You made me smile and laugh which were things that I never did in Chicago. And you know what? We may not have known each other for that long, but I will thank my parents every single day for dragging me here, because if they hadn't then I would have been hanging from the ceiling with a belt around my neck. I love you too, William, and I am going to miss you, as much as you may miss me." I cried out, which was when he hugged me and tried to calm me down.

"I have to go. It's past eight-thirty." He looked at his clock while taking off his glasses to wipe his eyes. Once he put his glasses back on, he put his hands in his pockets and strolled to the parking lot, leaving me in the entrance of the building.

Once he was in the middle of the parking lot, he turned around and shouted my name.

"What?" I shouted back.

"I'll send you a postcard from Austrailia." He smiled, which made me smile through my tears.

People then came out of the building, going to their cars. Once the flash of people were gone, I looked to see that William's car was gone too.


	17. Chapter 17

Fall break went by like a flash of lightning. I tried to cope with the last time I had seen William, trying to text him, call him, for a straight two weeks. No answer. I really tried to see the beaches of New Jersey, or go to town and look around the new enviornment I was in, but I just couldn't. I guess I kind of went back to my old ways of going back in my room all day. But, I didn't watch movies with all of the lights out, or drink tea while staring at the walls, or get my nose in a good and long book. I stood up, walked around the room, singing. I knew my parents were suprised, and believe me, I was suprised too, but all I could do was sing, because I kept thinking of William. There was a feeling in my heart that made me effortlessly smile while I was singing, and I was planning on thanking William for that happiness when we would get back from fall break.

Once I walked in Room 805, the class was silent, just like when we left for fall break. I looked around the room, and there was no sign of William. I thought that maybe he was running some errands, but that was when the bell rang. The official Choir teacher was teaching the class for a straight fifteen minutes, when I finally got it in my head: William had left. He was never coming back.

We had started our new songs, but I still didn't feel the same while singing. William made us feel it in our hearts, while right now, we just concentrated on hitting right notes through our lungs and vocal chords. I felt empty while singing. I tried so hard to just concentrate on the songs we were singing, but I couldn't do it without William, which I really hated to say. (Here is me getting dismissive again.). If I could sing without him before, then I can sing without him now, I thought to myself. But, then I realized that William gave me so many reasons to sing that only exist in my brain now, and I was looking for those reasons.

I tried to find Violet to lecture her on how she sabotoged everything that this class had in our hearts, but that was when we heard that she had been arrested for destruction of property. It is devestating how much hatred can come out of love, but I knew that maybe Violet going away was the brightside of this situation, so she couldn't make things any worse. I remember when William had told us to be happy and always look on the brightside of things, which brought my feelings back down.

I was frustrated that William could leave just like that, while I had so much more to tell him. What was I going to do now that I am stuck here? I couldn't possibly find another person like him, for no one can replace him. Annabelle was still in Chicago, so she couldn't really make me laugh every second of every day, and make me feel something in my heart that is pure and beautiful.

Once the day ended, I ran to my mothers car out of the school, and started sobbing.

"Mom," I sobbed out.

"What's wrong?" She immediately got worried.

"I want to move," I barely cried out, with uneven breathing.

"Why?" She said, concerned.

"I don't want to be here. Just take me anywhere but here. I want to go away." I sobbed.

I felt empty. This was my world without William. I was back to the beginning, staring at the walls, drinking tea, sleeping in a bed surrounded by books, and crying. Oh, we can't forget the nightmares. Those were the most worst part about it. But then I thought about something. Is this really how William would want me to live? I knew it was painful. God, it hurt so bad, like a bullet in my heart. I knew, though, that this was not what was suppossed to happen.


	18. Chapter 18

The next day was just like the others in Room 805. Quiet, depressed, and just lonely. I knew I had to fix the behavior of this situation, because I knew that was what William would do. All I saw when I was getting my folder was sorrowful faces, which I knew William would not want to see.

The Official Choir teacher tried to lift the class' sprits by telling funny stories about his household, or trying to do what William would always do and ask the class what's going on in their lives. Some smiled, others didn't. But, no laughter. No voices. Nothing. I finally raised my hand, wanting to say something.

"Yes, Alice?" He asked.

"I would like to say something to the class. Can I go to the front of the room?" I said in a nervous voice.

"Of course, Alice. Go on ahead." He smiled as he let me walk to the front of the room, right where William would stand. I heard voices talking about me, calling me a slut for dating a student teacher, and whatnot, but I didn't care at this point.

Once the teacher finally got the class to be quiet, I spoke.

"I know you guys are aware of what I did. And, I know you're going to not look at me the same after I say this if you didn't already know." I glanced at the teacher. "But, I was forced to move here. I was a waste of space where I came from, and so my parents dragged me here. Now, you may be wondering why I'm sharing this with you. But to you guys, he was Mr. Hayler. To me, his name was William. God, could that boy make me laugh like no other person could. He could lighten up anyone's day, even if he was in a bad mood he would crack a joke. You guys have just seen him in ties and nice shoes, but me...I've seen him in a T-Shirt and sweats, and I think he looks better in them. But, this isn't about me. This is about all of us. I can bet you a million dollars that William has made us smile, laugh, or just feel something in the dark abyss of our souls for at least a second. He tried everything to make us sound so perfect on stage, and feel perfect. He's in Austrailia now. I know that we are really depressed about it. Believe me, you would not be able to bear the pain that I am in right now. God, it hurts so much to see a world without him. I know we all miss his laugh, smile, those thick huge glasses that would make his eyes stand out. The way he would tell stories to us and ask what we did over the weekend. Us telling him our accomplishments and him announcing them to the whole class. He made us think straight. When I found out he was gone, I was devestated as much as you guys are. I wanted to move somewhere else. But, is that what William would want us to do? To sit and mope and be robots? No! William is not here, but he is still with us. He would want us to be exultant, as he would say. William would want us to be smiling, laughing, and singing not just from our lungs, but from our hearts. He would want us to feel the music stiched deep into our beings. You know what? I am never going to move back, now that I know I have a  purpose.  I am thankful every single Godforsaken day that my parents dragged me here, and I never want to leave, now. William, Mr. Hayler, whatever you may call him, would want nothing but happiness for us all, right? God, am I going to be happy to be alive, like he taught me, along with all of us."

The class was silent, and they all looked at each other. I went to sit down, as everyone looked back at the teacher.

"Let's make some beautiful music." He said, which were always the exact words of William. The whole class went to the risers, finally talking, laughing, smiling, like it was on the first day of school.

Once the bell rang, I stopped to look back at the empty Choir room. I stared at the sign that said Room 805. 

"Bye, William." I smiled and turned to go to lunch, softly singing the words to one of our choir songs.


	19. Chapter 1

The first day of school so far wasn't cliche, but it wasn't very eventful. I didn't really feel like "The New Girl". I just felt like someone who needed her best friend by her side, but was depressed because I couldn't tell her all of the things that were happening in my surroundings, all the sights, sounds, tastes, touches. It was such a new enviornment and I was still coming out of my uptight shell, not knowing how to act.

I had just walked down the stairs from Algebra Enrichment, and I looked at my schedule one last time, in case I forgot where I was going. Again, I read "Choir, Room 805". The walk took about five minutes, because of course the school had to be built like a cornmaze.

The temperature was decreasing as I was walking. The music department was like a hidden door --- to a freezer. It was all backed up in this little hallway that led to a million different rooms. No wonder the freshman were looking like a deer in headlights while walking around the hallways.

I finally got past the infinate row of hanging awards, plaques, trophies, etc., and found the room Choir, 805 the sign by the door said. I walked in to see just one big room of a flock of girls conversing. I sat down in the back of the room, and waited.

Once the bell rang, a tall, young, fidgety man in a pink button-up shirt and black tie paced in and pulled the screen of the overhead down over the dry erase board. Once the class was silent, he spoke.

"Hello, Welcome to Choir. We will be doing voice placements on Friday, dress fittings next Monday, and we will be having a fundraiser tomorrow. But let's not over-plan. Let's introduce ourselves. I want each person to stand up, tell us your name, grade, and your favorite flavor of ice cream." He said loudly and almost in way that sounded scripted. His movements were so foreward; and very stricking and dramatic. His voice was not low, but not high, and had a dialect that sounded like it was from here; pronouncing words very correctly, being open and direct and friendly. Of course we had no clue if this man was nice or not, so we could not assume. Overall, from the first sight of him, he was charming.

Wait...was I thinking this about a teacher? 

While people were standing and saying their information and their desires for plain flavors of ice cream, a girl with strawberry blonde hair, and heels leaned in towards me and said "He is very nice looking, don't you think? I'm so glad he's a student teacher."

Student teacher? Maybe that gives us an ounce of luck. We were all still illegal to date a man over eighteen, though, because apparently the government likes to tell us who we're suppossed to love these days.

He was very attractive, if I say so myself, though. I wasn't going head-over-heels, love-at-first-sight over him, but I did think he was attractive. His dark blonde hair was combed to the side in almost a perfect fringe, he had large thick "nerd" glasses over his small eyes which I assummed were grey or green, and his facial structure had various edges. He was tall, about six-foot-something, and the button-up shirts revealed his shoulderblades.

When it was my turn, I stood up and said "I'm Alice. I'm a sophmore, and my favorite ice cream flavor depends on my mood. When I'm sad, I like chocolate."

The audience got a reaction, and so did the teacher. Once I sat down, people were looking at me like I was indecisive, which I wasn't, and we continued on with our excerises of getting to know each other. I talked with everyone but who I wanted to get to know. Him. Not because I want to have some sort of connection with him that no one else knows (let's think realistically), but I just wanted to know more about him, other than the fact that his name is Mr. Hayler, he's a senior in college, and his favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip.

Once the bell rang, I was about to walk out, when I turned around to see Mr. Hayler staring at me.


End file.
